I'm trying to decide which is better.. the old-world view of things or the new-world view of things... and let me explain in which context.
My husband's grandmother was an old woman- 88 or so- when she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She had been feeling unwell for a while, aching back, no energy, etc. My husband, an EMT, went to visit her one day, saw how she looked and called Hatzalah. She was taken to the hospital, finally, as this was the third or so time that Hatzalah came for her, but she had always refused to go with them. Anyway, she was diagnosed at the hospital, and the doctor told her to come to his office in about a week to see what there was to do about it.
Now, my husband's grandmother and his parents are all old-world people. Before she was diagnosed, Bobby (we will call her as of now) refused to go to doctors to see why she wasn't feeling well. My in-laws wanted to take her to a doctor, but after once of saying 'No' they never pushed. Why? Because doctors don't know what they're doing... they kill you at the hospital... she doesn't want to go, what can I do?..... Oh, I have some medicine in the cabinet from.. around six years ago, maybe that will help her...
Well, it took a long painful year, and finally, at the end, she died, suffering.
And I get so mad thinking about it.
Doctors are there to help. And I'm not only talking about Medical doctors, I'm talking about people that have PhD's, MD's, or whatever other kind of doctorate degree there is! Therapists, psychologists, doctors, and surgeons- they're not there to kill you! that's not what they went to school for!
They went to school to learn how to help and to heal.
Now, there's another problem. I believe, after much discussion with a knowledgeable person, that a close relative, who is influenced by my in-laws, needs to see a psychologist to work out some real problems of self-respect, self-esteem, and self-belief. Others that are close to this person have tried to help in numerous ways... but to no avail. This person is stuck at age 14, cannot make decisions for his/herself, cannot go or do anything without getting approval from someone, is not friends with anyone this person's age- only younger, much younger. And this person is 23. S/he needs help.
And my in-laws, being the influential people they are to this person (otherwise they are great), will not even HEAR of going to a psychologist! "What! You think s/he's crazy!? Whatsa matter with you!?!?"
What is so wrong with going for help? Some poeple think that going for help puts you into damnation forever. Well, the world does not have to know about it.
Only you.
And no one else. Not any other relative or sibling, or cousin or whatever!
Now, the new-world view of things is... "you got a problem, go to a doctor. You had a spat with hubby, go to a psychologist. You didn't get pregnant right away, get infertility drugs.."
I do think some of these things are important, but all in good time! You don't have to ruuunnn to a doctor every time you have a cold, or when you had a good yelling session with the spouse, however, there is a limit to how long you can hold off as well....
To go or not to go.. That is the question....
I have vented....
9 comments:
Glad you go that off your chest!
I don't know why people feel that denial is easier to deal with than seeking help. It's very frustrating to watch.
Tell me about it....
And the worst is, you know you can't say more, cuz the more you say, the more they resist.
You need real psychology to get through to them (meaning these type of people, not only my in-laws:)... if at all possible.
Well, in terms of mental health there is a stigma if one goes to seek help. That is just a reality. But it is most important that every person do what they feel they need to do in order to be the best that they can be.
Sorry to hear about Bobby. My grandmother died from colon cancer too... except back then it was because she didnt know to go, not b ecause she didnt want to go to the dr.
yes, I agree there is a stigma, but.. like I said, no one has to know! Especially if the results are good!
Good post....Its true that idea is too prevalent in our community..but it IS changing as the generations progress...
david- I am honored and privilged to recieve the outstanding award of 'Good Post' from a writer such as yourself....wooooowwwww.....(mouth wide open) lol
But seriously, it's gonna take a long time for the stigma of going for help to change in our community- no matter if it is changing as of now... it will be a long time to acceptance... forget about full acceptance...
well, hopefully Moshiach will be here by then...
I'm all for going to the Doctor, except in probable terminal cases.
Also for someone who needs help from a psychologist. Go, do it discreetly but go, if it doesn't help at all, than you can decide to stop.
But go...
Prag- I'm with you...
Venting is great!
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