Hi everyone!
Sorry, I've been disconnected for a while- literally. My internet service was temporarily cut off by a certain someone, unknowingly- so it wasn't his fault. Anyway, I'm back.. Here's what I wrote in the interim....
I’m an actress, and one of the advantages of that, is talking. I like to talk just as much as I like to act. If given a chance, I can talk up a whole storm, a whole room, and a whole hour! However, most people don’t know me that way, because many times I use up my talking energy by…. well, talking to myself.
Now, come on, don’t tell me you’ve never done that! Even if you say, “Oh my!” when you almost hit a car- that’s talking to yourself! I’ve asked people if they’ve ever talked to themselves, like, in the bathroom, in the mirror (I even asked a date once- we didn’t get married) and they all unanimously say, ‘No’, but I don’t believe them.
It can’t be that there are only two SANE people in this world who talk to themselves- me and my sister. I just won’t believe it. Everyone else is covering up.
But why? I think it’s the best thing before- and after- therapy. It’s better than therapy.
1- You talk to yourself, so no one else knows your problems (no matter how confidential they are).
2- No financial obligations.
3- You can even get things done while being in ‘therapy’
I talk to myself when washing dishes, ironing clothes, even when driving. Once I caught myself talking to myself while walking on the street. OK, I admit, THAT was scary. But I haven’t done it since. My husband talks to himself in the shower- it’s not that hard to hear through the door y’know. And when I confronted him about it (being that he had denied ever talking to himself), he said, “No! You don’t understand! That’s different! I’m just playing out an imaginary occurrence!” Yeah, well, that’s talking to yourself, buddy, however you wanna put it.
Talking to yourself can be useful for past, present, or future use.
I found that talking to myself helps me get over things I have a hard time getting over, such as a situation that had occurred that I could have acted differently- for better or for worse. For instance, I was a boy-crusher. I had crushes on any cute boy I saw. But, me being a shy girl, would always somehow mess up when talking to the cutie that spoke to me. Forever and ever, until this very day, I can go over conversations I’ve had when I was 16, 17, or even 13 and imagine that I was all sophisticated and responded in the most coolest way. If only… I would flip my hair at the mirror, giggle at the soapy dish, and wink at the wrinkled shirt- and of course, say the right things at the right times!
It also helps me prepare for things that are coming up, and for situations I imagine might occur. I remember once, when I had money for a cleaning lady- and actually had one- I had wanted to fire this particular one, because of various reasons. I was nervous. How was I gonna tell her not to come to me anymore- never mind the fact that English is not exactly her mother-tongue. I imagined all types of scenes- from the serene and smooth, to the wild and incoherent. I practiced to the mirror, I acted to the vacuum, and I waved the iron around a bit…. and I called. It actually went smoother than I had thought it would, but not as smooth as I imagined it could. First, I told her some of the problems I had with her (I felt that was only fair, as she would have a chance to fix it up for the next person- and don’t worry, this was like the third time telling her), so she tells me, “OK OK, I be there tomorrow.”
So, I’m like, “No, don’t come.”
“So when I come?”
“No more come.”
“No more?!”
“No more.”
“Oh.” And that was basically it. At least I didn’t get any incoherent cursing!
It also lets me get away with fantasizing the ‘What if’s’- like, ‘What if this or that would happen, what would I do?’ This one, probably everyone thinks about, although I verbalize it. What if…a robber, chas v’shalom, would come into my house? What would I do, how would I react? Would I grab the first thing I could find and be the attacker, instead of attackee? Would I call 911 first and keep the phone on so they can hear everything that’s going on? Or would I hide? And if we met, face to mask, what would be said (talking to yourself can be a two-sided conversation, you and the imagined person)?
Talking to yourself is really not as crazy as it sounds, especially when done in private, and people should not be embarrassed to admit that they talk to themselves. It’s a very normal, and healthy, thing. It can give courage to a shy person, ideas to a dud, and wisdom to a ditz ( Ah-don’know, I just thought that line sounded good). So…. do you talk to yourself???
