I haven't had time or patience to blog for a while, but I decided to try and give it a go one more time. I've decided that I want to focus on parenting. I want to write about my parenting experiences, what I see other's do, and what I learn from it all. It's more of a venting, thinking and re-thinking format for me, and, hey, you might learn some good points, too.
Before I became a parent, things were so simple. I did what I wanted, I didn't have to care who sees or knows (exceptmy parents, of course!), and I didn't have to feel like there's something I had to live up to.
Once I had kids, it all changed. Now, I can't do whatever I want to- my kids might copy me and it might be inappropriate/ dangerous/ they're underage etc, I do end up caring if my kids see me or know what I'm doing (if it's inappropriate) and I definitely feel like I have an image to live up to.
As I go through my day, I have to always keep these thoughts in mind and wonder, "Do I want my kids doing this?" Trust me, it's not easy.
Tues, 4/24/2012
I woke up late. One hour late. 7:30 instead of 6:30. That can throw all parenting procedures off track. Will I get to make my kids lunch today? Prepare their snack? See them all dressed and looking ready to face the world? For today, somewhat. I got out of bed and got myself ready first. I managed to get the kids' snacks and lunches out and then it was time to leave. Problem. I had promised Actress (totally her personality), my oldest, 8 yrs old, that I would brush her hair before school, so that she would have a nice, smooth hairstyle, instead of a bumpy ponytail. And I totally forgot. Rule #1- don't forget to do things you promised to do. As I'm driving to meet my carpool, poor Actress calls me up, and sadly accuses me of not brushing her hair and then defiantly says that she WON'T brush it, and she doesn't care.
Rule #2- I remember that one thing they always say to do when dealing with kids, is to commiserate with them and show them that you hear and feel their pain. So, I told her, "Actress, I know. I'm so sorry. I really wanted to brush your hair this morning, but I woke up late and totally forgot. Please brush it nicely yourself, because I really want you to look good, like a mentch." Hmm... she might get the idea that I think she doesn't look good. Well, by then, she's already hung up in a huff, but I call my husband to tell him to make sure that she actually does brush her hair.
The afternoon was not too bad. I had supper ready at a fairly decent time and the kids were out playing until then. Whew. And not only that, tonight, we actually all sat together at the table! Actress, of course, brought a book with her and propped it up in front of her face, while Daddy took out his Droid and starting playing around with it. I looked at Actress and said, "Actress, you know that I don't like it when you read at the table when we're all together. When you eat alone, you can, but not when we're all together. Nothing (ahem, glare at Daddy) should be on the table now."
Thank goodness she listened (and so did he). We actually all spoke about our day and had a nice calm meal. Actually, no. There was the incident with the Chair. I have this big stool that I use in the kitchen when I'm pregnant (which I am now) to sit on so that I can work at the counter and not stay on my feet for too long. Boy (because he just totally IS), my seven yr old, brought the chair to the table and sat on it. I told him I wasn't too happy, but I let it go. Of course, then Princess (totally acts like one), 4, wants to sit on it, and the minute that Boy gets up to get something, she tries to get on it. I block her attempts and tell her that it's Boy's chair. Boy, does she put up a fuss, but I gently repeat what I said and ignore the rest. Point 1 for Mom!!
Boy, though, can't stand the noise and decides he'll give up his chair, but then decides he wants it back. Sigh. So, I set the kitchen timer and tell Princess, when it rings she has to give the chair back to Boy. She agrees. No prob. But, then the timer rings. And, she refuses to budge. So, in a calm voice (really), I warn her that if she doesn't get up when I say '3' she's gonna get.... but I don't finish, because I don't really know what to say. This is not worth a punishment, honestly. Well, finally, she does give it up, in a huff, but as Boy is pulling the chair back to him, he bangs Princess's finger.
ENOUGH. I'VE HAD IT. That's when I semi-blow. I tell him, under no circumstances is that chair to be at the table, but he refuses to listen. So, Daddy says, "maybe he doesn't deserve to play a video game with me (which they were gonna do after supper)." Boy thinks. I tell him, "either you bring the chair to the table and you have it, but you don't get to play, or you put the chair back and sit nicely and you'll get to play."
Boy is NOT happy, as he pushes the chair back. it falls to the floor. Ooops. He knows that's not good, so he quickly picks it up and puts it back nicely, but doesn't stop his grumbling. I'd love to punish him for grumbling, because I can't STAND it, but Rule #3- choose your battles. Don't fight everything. I chose to chill. And you konw what? Things calmed down pretty quick after that. Showers were taken, homework done and games played, all with little incident.
My only little secret, is that I give my kids Melatonin, about 1/4 of a teaspoon or less, but it helps calm them down and lets them fall asleep at a decent hour. And it gives me some time to rest. I've had days where my kids were in bed at 7:30 and the last one only fell asleep at 10pm. Not fun.
Rule #4- cut yourself some slack! This is mine:)
So, my Rules for today: 1- don't break promises, 2- feel your child's pain, 3- choose your battles, and 4- cut YOURSELF some slack!
There's probably many more rules in there somewhere. There always is. but, I think, overall, today was a good day... Now, I have to study. I wish I could parent myself sometimes...sigh.
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